Remember, that if thou marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all thy life for that which perchance will neither last nor please thee one year; and when thou hast it, it will be to thee of no price at all; for the desire dieth when it is attained, and the affection perisheth when it is satisfied.
Sir Walter Raleigh (1552 – 1618)
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates (469 BC – 399 BC)
Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
Voltaire (1694 – 1778)
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
Will Rogers (1879 – 1935)
Never marry but for love; but see that thou lovest what is lovely.
William Penn (1644 – 1718)
I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.
Woody Allen (1935 – )
I know nothing about sex because I was always married.
Zsa Zsa Gabor (1919 – )
A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
Dave Meurer, “Daze of Our Wives”
Marriage. It’s like a cultural hand-rail. It links folks to the past and guides them to the future.
Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Our Wedding, 1992
Man’s best possession is a sympathetic wife.
Euripides (484 BC – 406 BC), Antigone
Never say that marriage has more of joy than pain.
Euripides (484 BC – 406 BC), Alcestis, 438 B.C.
One man’s folly is another man’s wife.
Helen Rowland (1876 – 1950)
Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might be found more suitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you are actually married to.
J. R. R. Tolkien (1892 – 1973), Letter to Michael Tolkien, March 1941
I pay very little regard…to what any young person says on the subject of marriage. If they profess a disinclination for it, I only set it down that they have not yet seen the right person.
Jane Austen (1775 – 1817), Mansfield Park
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
If there was strife and contention in the home, very little else in life could compensate for it.
Lawana Blackwell, The Courtship of the Vicar’s Daughter, 1998
Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
Mickey Rooney (1920 – )
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
Muhammad Ali (1942 – )
If you would marry suitably, marry your equal.
Ovid (43 BC – 17 AD)
That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.
A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.
Pearl Buck (1892 – 1973)
I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
When I meet a man I ask myself, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?’
Happiness just wasn’t part of the job description back then. You tried to find a helpmate to keep the cold wind and dogs at bay. Happiness just wasn’t part of the equation. Survival was.
Robin Green, Northern Exposure, Burning Down the House, 1992
Such is the common process of marriage. A youth and maiden exchange meeting by chance, or brought together by artifice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home, and dream of one another. Having little to divert attention, or diversify thought, they find themselves uneasy when they are apart, and therefore conclude that they shall be happy together. They marry, and discover what nothing but voluntary blindness had before concealed; they wear out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty.
Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784), Rasselas
There is no observation more frequently made by such as employ themselves in surveying the conduct of mankind, than that marriage, though the dictate of nature, and the institution of Providence, is yet very often the cause of misery, and that those who enter into that state can seldom forbear to express their repentance, and their envy of those whom either chance or caution hath withheld from it.
Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784), Rambler #18
Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first.
Husbands are like fires. They go out if unattended.
Zsa Zsa Gabor
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
I know you’ve been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive.
Without thinking highly either of men or matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be their pleasantest preservative from want.
Pride and Prejudice (1813) ch. 22
MARRIAGE, n. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two.
The Devil’s Dictionary (1911) p. 213
Love and marriage, love and marriage,
Go together like a horse and carriage,
This I tell ya, brother,
Ya can’t have one without the other.
Love and Marriage (1955 song; music by James Van Heusen)
Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity.
Man and Superman (1903) ‘Maxims: Marriage’
George Bernard Shaw
Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she’s a householder.
The Merchant of Yonkers (1939) act 1